New Lisa Frank Peni Neck Gaiters

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them wieners.

At first glance you may think this is an average festive Halloween pattern, look a little closer, my dear, those objects may be more phallic than they appear...

These delicious franken-furters are positively electric! Packed with all the juicy goodness of whatever we could dig up in the meat plant, these nutritious sausages will bring you to life!

Um... I think there has been a miscommunication in the design department. I mean technically he is "hanging", but... what even would this card mean? "Getting some is in your future"? Sure, if you're packing like this guy.

This subtle NSFW pattern displays some classic bakery pastries, but the shape of them may appear to be...phallic. Not your normal pastries, but delicious! Fool friends with this penis pastry pattern, maybe they'll think you just really like eclairs...

Try To Say Penis Louder Than Me I Dare You! For those who lose a bit of *immature* fun, and laugh at any mention of "penis," I'm right there with you.

Isn't space magnificent? Celebrate the unending natural beauty of space and the human form with this NSFW pattern depicting a vast array of vulvas that look like nebulas, galaxies, and other celestial bodies!

Fresh and glistening, these not-so-subtly phallic veggies are sure to get double-takes from your friends and pretty much anyone who sees you! Maybe don't take this one to work though. Or do, I'm not your dad.

Fresh and glistening, these not-so-subtly phallic veggies are sure to get double-takes from your friends and pretty much anyone who sees you! Maybe don't take this one to work though. Or do, I'm not your dad.

Oh, I love chicken nuggets! Wait... are those....? PENUGGETS! Penis shaped chicken nuggets. If nuts and nuggets are your two fave things, this is the design for you!

Whose childhood hasn't been touched by these squiggly hoops swimming in tomato goop? Delicious and far from nutritious, but perfect comfort food for remembering lunchtime during the long summer vacations?

This seemingly innocent subtle makeup pattern looks fine at first glance, get a closer look, and you can spot all the "lipdicks,""chapsdicks,"penis-tipped mascara, lip gloss, rather vaginal looking lip balms, genitalia blushes, and a pudenda puddle of foundation! Fun for sex-positive makeup lovers or those who got the glam and the sexual humor to match!

These popsicles are more spicy than sweet (wink wink). Looking for a subtle nsfw product? Something that's not immediately noticeable until you stare at it long enough that you realize that all is not as innocent as it seems? Then this design is for you! Perfect for shocking friends and family! Suck on that cocksicle, or popdickle...

Just some, perhaps, oddly phallic shaped and arranged witchy items. Not totally sus, but just enough to where you may get a few chuckles out of humor from these penis-esque magical things. Mushrooms, penis candles, boners, cauldron balls, crystal balls, potions, and a phallic feather to name a few. Cast a hilarious charm on anyone around you who may be fooled by this, at first, unsuspecting, totally innocent design.

Why be subtle? There's no need to be shy! These cute pastel penises are sure to get a reaction from your friends, families, and strangers!

Kawaii Penises, or Kawaii weenies, or even, dare I say... Kaweenies cover this super cute NSFW pattern. Each kaweenie is unique, and of course, kawaiiiii!

Brachiosaurus's got Hella Neck Game, if you know what I mean *wink wink* watch out, this dinosaur is coming through to steal ya mans with their long neck game. Got that brachiosaurus head (& neck) for your man? This NSFW blowjob shirt will take your dirty jokes to the NECK level!

Gimme That Good Goose Neck Baby *wink wink* Honk Honk, watch out, this goose coming through to steal ya mans with their wicked neck game. Got that gooseneck for your man? This NSFW blowjob shirt will take your dirty jokes to the NECK level!

Merry Dickmas! Dick the halls with boughs of holly! Have yourself an NSFW Christmas with this festive green dildo, or shall I say, sexually liberated Christmas tree...

They say you are what you eat. ;-) Squint your eyes and you'll see that there's more to these fruits than what meets the eye.

At first you might see some seasonal corn, gourds, caramel apples, a jug of cider, pumpkins, pumpkin donuts...typical fall essentials. But look closer, there may be a phallic shape trend there, and check out the lines on the leaf - perhaps a bit vagina-esque? Laugh at this seemingly innocent phallic fall pattern!

Slather me in mustard and call me a pup! These sure are some hot doggies!

We Witches Got Balls, crystal balls, that is (debatable). Show off your sassy and slight suggestive witch attitude with this phallic shaped candle and crystal balls design!

Mushroom can look like penises, it's just a fact. These phallic shrooms might get you some questionable looks, but nothing tricks the eye like a subtle penis shaped, perfectly innocent mushroom.

A candle, crystal, wand, and potion bottle all have a particularly phallic shape in this pattern. Wizarding essentials at first glance, and then as you look, the penises just keep coming!

Looking for a subtle nsfw product? Something that's not immediately noticeable until you stare at it long enough that you realize that all is not as innocent as it seems? Then this design is for you! Perfect for shocking friends and family!

Show your love for stargazing and dick with this funny penis pillow. This night sky's pillow features illustrations of wieners and balls shaped constellations.

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

Looking for a new french toile pattern pillow for your couch? Something that is expresses your love of butterflies and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle butterfly vagina pattern throw pillow is for you!

Looking for a new french toile pattern pillow for your couch? Something that is expresses your love of butterflies and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle butterfly vagina pattern throw pillow is for you!