New Peni Stockings

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your home? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

Merry Dickmas! Dick the halls with boughs of holly! Have yourself an NSFW Christmas with this festive green dildo, or shall I say, sexually liberated Christmas tree...

Want an X-rated Xmas? Merry Dickmas! This isn't your ordinary Holiday cheer, not the pattern to show to the inlaws... for these phallic festivities will have you laughing HOE HOE HOE all through the night!

Jolly ole saint dick! Share the festive and NSFW holiday humor with this funny and festive "Ole Saint Dick" nsfw parody design.

These are clearly magical girl items, weapons, transformation devices, but they have a sort of phallic essence to them... Can you notice all the peens in the items?

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

The cottage core aesthetic is so beautiful, so cozy and cute - the berries, the baking, the tea. I'm sorry to have to kick it up a notch, but the thing cottage core needs is some NSFW humor. Check out all the hidden and not so hidden penises (peens) in this pattern.

If you are into all things occult, witchy, or ~mystical~ then this pattern is for you... oh wait... are those dicks? See if you can find all the penis occultish items, and even look to the whispy magical fog.

Just some, perhaps, oddly phallic shaped and arranged witchy items. Not totally sus, but just enough to where you may get a few chuckles out of humor from these penis-esque magical things. Mushrooms, penis candles, boners, cauldron balls, crystal balls, potions, and a phallic feather to name a few. Cast a hilarious charm on anyone around you who may be fooled by this, at first, unsuspecting, totally innocent design.

At first you might see some seasonal corn, gourds, caramel apples, a jug of cider, pumpkins, pumpkin donuts...typical fall essentials. But look closer, there may be a phallic shape trend there, and check out the lines on the leaf - perhaps a bit vagina-esque? Laugh at this seemingly innocent phallic fall pattern!

Looking for a subtle nsfw product? Something that's not immediately noticeable until you stare at it long enough that you realize that all is not as innocent as it seems? Then this design is for you! Perfect for shocking friends and family!

Ooh plants! I love plants, oh...oh wait what are those? Penis plants, baby. If you love subtle NSFW patterns, and a hint of greenery, then this is the pattern for you!

Kawaii Penises, or Kawaii weenies, or even, dare I say... Kaweenies cover this super cute NSFW pattern. Each kaweenie is unique, and of course, kawaiiiii!

although this design isn't exactly subtle, it's sure to get people to do a double take! Is that a unicorn, or a uniporn!? How crude, yet... magical.

although this design isn't exactly subtle, it's sure to get people to do a double take! Is that a unicorn, or a uniporn!? How crude, yet... magical.

Want an X-rated Xmas? Merry Dickmas! These aren't your typical sugar cookies, not the ones to bring to the inlaws... for these phallic sugary delights will have you laughing HOE HOE HOE all through the night!

At first glance you may think this is an average festive Halloween pattern, look a little closer, my dear, those objects may be more phallic than they appear...

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!

Looking for a new french toile pattern blanket for your couch? Something that is nice flowery and with mildly offensive genitalia to your mother once she stares at it too long? This subtle floral penis pattern is for you!